


Parent Trapped

by BotchedExperiment



Series: Parent Trapped AU [1]
Category: LazyTown
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Christmas, Domestic Fluff, Fever, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sickfic, Sportacus is A Good Dad, Vomit Mention, ella is smol and angry, glanni is the obnoxious uncle, robbie is just done, sneaky family members, stephanie is too smart, this started out as a coffee shop au and turned into a christmas fic in february
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-26 02:24:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9857789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BotchedExperiment/pseuds/BotchedExperiment
Summary: "He knew his daughter well enough to spot when she was planning something."ORWhen Stephanie and Ella take their dads' love into their own hands and everything goes as well as you can expect.





	1. Chapter 1

Lazy Morning was the town's beloved (and only) coffee shop. It resided in an old building downtown, between an antique store and an ice cream parlor. The coffee shop was a favorite by many for their unique drinks and desserts, none of which Sportacus would touch with a ten foot pole.

He understood that a coffee shop probably wasn't the best place for someone like him to work. He couldn't imagine consuming the same amount of coffee that he'd seen so many people take in. Caffeine caused his heart to race, stomach to hurt, and the crash one experienced afterward was downright _unpleasant_.

But it was a job.

He was new to LazyTown and only moved there to get away from the city in the first place. He'd take what he could get.

Stephanie loved their new home dearly, constantly telling him how excited she was for summer to end so she could go to school and meet her new classmates. It would be a big change, Sportacus knew, for her to switch from her old school to one that wasn't even a quarter of the size in comparison. But she wasn't fazed by the small town, and he could get used to the quiet.

Milford came from his office in the back, looking a bit preoccupied with whatever paperwork he was dealing with. "Sportacus, have you started closing yet?"

"Ah, not yet. Just about to, though!" He answered, handing a chocolate chip muffin to their last customer of the day.

"Wonderful! We'll work on that and then you'll be done for the day."

Sportacus nodded and began wiping down the counter. "Not you?"

Milford shook his head. "I'm afraid I have some more work to do before I can go home."

"Well, I hope it goes well!" Sportacus offered a smile.

"Yes, me too."

Sportacus was just about finished cleaning for the night when he heard the doorbell jingle at the shop's entrance. He smiled and quickly braced himself as Stephanie bolted toward him.

"Dad!"

"Hello," He said with a laugh as she continued to cling to him. 'How was your day? Were you good?"

Stephanie teasingly waved off the question, so he looked up at her babysitter for the answer. Bessie insisted that Stephanie was better than a lot of the children she'd had the pleasure of taking care of, before she disappeared into the back room with Milford.

Sportacus was so thankful to have moved to a town full of nice people. He hadn't expected his boss' wife of all people to offer to take care of his daughter during the day, but the two seemed to be getting along alright, and Stephanie could be out of Bessie's hair once school started.

"Dad?" Stephanie followed him as he went to hang up his apron. "Can we get ice cream before we go home?"

"Get Ice cream? Next door?"

"Yeah!"

Although he didn’t eat ice cream himself, it was Stephanie's favorite sweet treat. "Are they still open?"

"Uh-huh. The lights were still on when we came in."

Sportacus took a look around to make sure he had finished all of his work. Everything looked pretty clean, in fact he would daresay that the shop started looking cleaner since Sportacus began work there. He'd spent so much time working there instead of doing anything else and seemed to be channeling his pent up energy into cleaning, of all things.

"Um,"  It _was_  summer, and it _was_  Friday. A little ice cream trip couldn’t hurt. "Alright! Let's go."

She cheered and the two of them raced to the ice cream place, taking all but a few seconds to get there.. They walked in, a familiar chime of bells rang as the door opened and closed behind them.

A tall man stood up from behind the counter, or tried to before he knocked his head against a shelf below. He grunted before standing up, rubbing at the back of his head. "I was actually about to close up . . ." He said. He took a look at the two of them and seemed to change his mind, face softening at Stephanie's pout. "But as long as you don’t take too long, I guess."

"Sorry that we came in so late. I work next door and we just finished closing up ourselves," Sportacus explained as Stephanie excitedly looked at all of the flavors in the case.

"Ah, you're the one who just moved here." He didn’t look up at Sportacus, instead keeping his eye on the ice cream case.

"Yes, that's us!" Sportacus raised an eyebrow. He wasn’t sure if this man didn’t like him, or was just suffering from an end-of-the-day exhaustion, but either way he was acting odd.

"Can I get a scoop of strawberry?" Stephanie asked, finally having made up her mind.

"Of course!" Suddenly, the man became a more animated version of himself. He handed her the ice cream in a dramatic and over-the-top way, and giving her the spoon as equally enthusiastically, causing her to giggle at his antics.

Sportacus smiled. "Thank you. how much do I owe you?"

The man's gray eyes stared at him and Sportacus realized it was the first time he actually looked at him since he walked in. He ran a hand through his perfectly-styled hair, clearing his throat.

"Don’t uh, don’t worry about it. Welcome to LazyTown."

"I can't let you do that!" Sportacus chuckled. But the man seemed tired enough that he didn’t want to argue. He could pay him back some other time. "Well, thank you. Have a good night."

"You too," He responded with a yawn.

"I'm Sportacus by the way! And that's Stephanie." He gestured toward his daughter, who was now fully-engrossed in her ice cream.

The ice cream man shook his hand weakly. "Robbie."

\-----

"He was looking at you a lot," Stephanie said in passing on their walk home.

"Really? I didn’t see him look at me at all."

"That's because he only looked when you weren't."

An observation that was so obvious to his brilliant daughter had Sportacus turning red in his cheeks.

Stephanie had become attached to the place and he found himself in the ice cream parlor several more times through the next few weeks. Each time, the tall, exhausted-looking man waited on them. Sportacus would sometimes catch glimpses of another man of similar stature in the back room of the parlor, and he'd catch Robbie rolling his eyes at the sound of singing that also came from the back.

There were a lot of questions he wanted to ask, but Robbie never seemed approachable about anything other than frozen treats.

And then summer ended.

It was the last weekend before school started and Sportacus wasn’t prepared to send his daughter off. He was glad that she was so excited, talking about all of the friends she was going to make and things she was going to learn. But he was still nervous as any parent would be.

 _"Daaaaaad,"_  Stephanie groaned with a roll of her eyes. "Let go of me."

At her protest, he pulled himself away from the hug. "Have fun, okay? I'll be right here when you get out of school."

"Okay." She nodded.

"And be good to your teachers, alright?"

"I know, dad," She said impatiently, her eyes darting toward all of the kids making their way into the school. She was eager to get in and not miss out on anything.

He gave her one last crushing hug, "I love you. Have a good day."

She disappeared into the crowd of kids. Sportacus sniffled a bit, only just realizing that he was tearing up. He wasn’t ready to send his daughter to a new school. Heck, he wasn’t even ready to move to a new town, but here they were. Stephanie's excitement seemed to be the only thing that helped him see the good in all of this. The divorce hadn't seemed to faze her, either that or she hadn't sat still enough to process it. Sportacus swallowed the lump of worry that had formed in his throat.

_"Yes, you need to go!"_

_"Don’t argue with me, Ella."_

_"What did I just say?"_

The one-sided argument snapped Sportacus out of his self-deprecating state and he turned to steal a glance. Robbie?

The raven-haired man was knelt in front of a girl around Stephanie's age. She had a defiant look on her face, and her lips seemed to be moving, but Sportacus wasn’t close enough to make out her small voice. Robbie's voice carried throughout the entire school front, it seemed.

"Robbie?"

The same gray eyes looked up, startled and confused. "Oh, hi, Sporta . . ." His face screwed up as he tried to remember his name. Finally, he settled on: "Sport."

Sportacus grinned. Everyone in the town was very nice, but he was relieved to see someone that he recognized a little more.

The little girl in front of Robbie crossed her arms and huffed, mumbling something unintelligible that seemed to get Robbie's attention quite nicely.

"Ella, I swear to God-" but the girl was already stalking away, purple backpack slung over her shoulder. Robbie ran a hand down his face with a groan.

Sportacus grimaced and then found himself biting back an amused grin.

"Every year. Every single year she fights me until I practically have to drag her into that school."

"That's funny, Stephanie couldn’t wait for school. She was talking my ear off this morning because she was so excited."

Robbie scoffed. "Yes, well, Ella isn't a very social kid. Takes after me, I guess."

Sportacus wondered if that was code for 'Leave me alone' but Robbie didn’t seem to be going anywhere so Sportacus didn’t either. The taller man let out a big sigh.

"I'd better get to work and open the shop."

Sportacus checked his watch. "Ah, yes. Me too." he cleared his throat. "See you later?"

"Uh, sure."

\-----

It didn’t take long at all for Stephanie and Ella to become good friends. They spent a lot of their time doing their homework at either the coffee shop or the ice cream parlor as they waited for the dads to leave work. Sportacus still had yet to hear Ella talk, but Stephanie insisted that Ella only spoke to her and Robbie.

Sportacus didn’t understand the danger of the two girls' friendship until one night after dinner, when he and Stephanie were washing dishes.

"Dad?"

"Yes, Stephanie?"

"Do you like Ella's dad? Mister Robbie?"

"Of course I do, sweetheart."

"Are you going to date him then?"

Sportacus almost dropped the stack of dishes in his hand. He stared at Stephanie, baffled, as she continued to dry the dishes. The question was such a rational one to her, but to Sportacus . . .

"Where did that come from?"

She caught the look on his face and felt the need to explain herself further in case she was in trouble. "Well! You guys like each other. And neither of you are married."

Sportacus raised a suspicious eyebrow. This sounded like she had spent a lot of time thinking about it, and not by herself. He knew his daughter well enough to spot when she was planning something.

"Stephanie . . ." he said carefully, drawing her eyes back up to him. "Have you and Ella been talking about Robbie and I?"

"Well . . ."

He narrowed his eyes. "What are you planning?"

"Nothing!" She answered, far too quickly to falter his suspicion. "We just- we're worried about you guys!"

"Mhm."

Two days later when evening came, Robbie Rotten himself walked into the coffee shop with a plate of cake in his hand and snow falling off his shoulder. He marched up to the counter as Sportacus swept behind it.

"What's the meaning of this?" He demanded, dropping the plate onto the counter in front of Sportacus. On the plate was a small, decorated cake with the words ' _Merry Christmas, Robbie -Sportacus'_  written on the top in a handwriting that definitely didn’t belong to an adult. Or one child. This cake was a team effort.

Sportacus sighed. "Oh dear."

"Oh dear?" Robbie repeated, flustered. "What is this?!"

"Robbie, look at the cake."

And he did so.

Realization grew on Robbie's face, putting two and two together. "That's why Ella was asking about you the other night." He massaged the bridge of his nose, sighing heavily.

"Stephanie was doing the same." An awkward silence hit the room like a ton of bricks before Sportacus spoke again. "For future reference, I would never give you a cake. Cake is really bad for you."

"Good to know," Robbie responded with a snort.

\-----

Sportacus didn’t want to go to the ice cream parlor today, or preferably ever again, after he and Robbie's awkward encounter with the cake, but he had promised to take Stephanie if she got good grades and he couldn’t back out now.

Robbie was just disappearing into the back room as the two of them walked in, the other man taking his place in the front. Sportacus didn’t blame him for running off. It felt like an awkward school crush again.

"Where'd Robbie go?" Stephanie asked.

"He's on break." The man at the counter, who's name tag read 'Glanni', was just as tall as Robbie. He had the same gray eyes a well, but wore much more dark clothing under his apron. "What can I get you?"

\-----

He managed to avoid going back as he was busy with work and Stephanie was busy with school and activities. Sportacus thought he was safe from his confused crush on Robbie. That is, until he ran into the guy at the store. Literally.

Their shopping carts crash into each other with a loud metallic bang that echoed throughout the entire store.

"Hey! Watch- Oh, Sportanerd. It's you." His face softened.

"Robbie! It's been a while."

"Yes, I we haven't spoken since our kids tried to parent-trap us."

"What?"

Robbie rolled his eyes. "Never mind. It was nice running into you. I hope your fruit isn't too bruised. See you later."

"Wait, Robbie!"

"What?"

Sportacus stood bravely. "What are you doing for Christmas?"

Robbie hesitated before turning back to Sportacus, bumping his cart into a shelf in the process. "Ella, my brother and I eat dinner together. We don’t have any other family in LazyTown. Why?"

"Stephanie and I will be alone as well. Would you want to . . ." he trailed off, staring at a particularly interesting bunch of broccoli in his cart. "Would the three of you want to come over and spend Christmas with us?"

The question caught Robbie by surprise. "That's nice of you and all, but we have our traditions," He said, gesturing vaguely to his cart full of a soon-to-be unconventional Christmas dinner. "We make pizza together and then watch holiday movies on TV." The fondness in his voice told Sportacus that he wasn’t willing to break tradition that easily.

Though disappointed, Sportacus nodded. "I understand. But if you change your mind-"

"Yeah, yeah."

\-----

"Oh, Stephanie, please don’t be upset." He patted her head while she pouted. Sportacus should've known to not mention that he invited Robbie and his family, and that they couldn’t come. It was just setting her up for disappointment all over again. "Christmas will be fun no matter what!"

Stephanie's frown deepened. He didn’t blame her. It would be their first Christmas as a two-person family, and this was probably the first that she thought about it. They were away from the rest of their family, on their own, no one to spend the holidays with but each other.

"Hey," He knelt down in front of his and cupped her face with his hand. Stephanie sniffled. "I know that you wanted to spend Christmas with Ella, but there is nothing we can do about it, okay? I'm sorry. I wanted Robbie here, too." She nodded and hugged his neck.

Suddenly, Stephanie stopped, "Wait . . ." she rushed off to her bedroom before Sportacus could question her sudden revelation. Should he be concerned? Naw, probably not.

\-----

Sportacus was attacked by an excited nine year-old on Christmas morning. It was a big change from how she was a couple of days ago, but Christmas had that effect on people. He was just glad that she had stopped moping around.

He laughed and shot out of bed, picking her up in the process. "What are you so excited about?"

" _Daaaad!_ It's Christmas!"

"Is it?" He said in faux confusion. "I don’t know, are you sure?"

" _Yeeees!_ "

"Well, if you say so. Shall we go open presents?" He slung her over his shoulder as she giggled, so much as carrying her to the living room and letting her fall onto the sofa. They both pulled presents out from under the tree and exchanged them.

After presents, Sportacus made them both breakfast and then started getting food ready for dinner. He couldn’t give Stephanie the big family Christmas that she wanted, but he could try to cook everything that she was used to eating on the holiday. The only problem . . . He had never been that great of a cook. Oh well. It would be fine! Sportacus watched Stephanie's mother cook Christmas dinner many times, so it couldn’t be that hard.

That's what he told himself.

And now he was flapping a towel at the squawking smoke alarm.

\-----

He knocked on the door with a store-bought cake in his arms. He couldn’t show up unexpected _and_  empty handed.

The only reason they had made it to Robbie's home was because Stephanie and Ella had walked there from school several times, because Sportacus had no idea where the man lived. He trusted Stephanie, but he really hoped that this was the right house.

"I'm not sure this is a good idea," Sportacus muttered.

Stephanie made a 'psh' sound. "What happened to 'Christmas will be fun no matter what', huh?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Don’t use my words against me, little one. That’s not fair."

She only smiled smugly.

The two straightened up when the door finally opened, revealing Robbie in a particularly interesting patterned sweater. There was a  _thump thump thump thump_  of quick footsteps from behind the tall man before a purple streak pushed past him and attacked Stephanie with a hug.

Both men looked at their kids, and then at each other. Sportacus smiled sheepishly, holding out the cake.

"I know that I said I'd never give you a cake, but the store was pretty bare. The pies were gone."

Robbie scoffed before wrapping Sportacus in an equally as welcoming hug.

"It's good to have you here, Sportakook," He admitted as they all walked inside. He took their coats and draped them over the back of a chair by the door.

"Well, look who it is!" Glanni came out from the kitchen in a dark turtleneck, a big bowl of God-knew-what kind of junk food in his hand. "You're the hot one Robbie's been talking about." He dodged the object that was chucked at him. "Ella said you might show up." and the second object.

"Ella said what?" Sportacus questioned, turning to his daughter who only shrugged innocently.

"Oh, she mentioned that you two might come by. So I picked up some ingredients for white pizza."

"How did you know I like white pizza?" Sportacus asked him, and then looked back at his daughter who was now inching away from him.

"You said you'd keep it a secret," Ella hissed at her uncle. Sportacus' eyes widened, it being the first time he heard her voice.

"Yes, well, tough. I'm bad at keeping secrets. You should know this by now!" He patted her head while she crossed her arms. "Anyway, shall we get started?"

Robbie was busy staring at his daughter, and Sportacus at his.

"Ella . . ."

"Stephanie . . ."

"Did you two plan this?" Robbie asked with his hands on his hips.

"More importantly, Stephanie, did you turn up the oven so I would burn our dinner?"

"Maybe," The girls answered in unison.

Both men were speechless. How could their daughters have planned something like this just so they could all spend Christmas together?

Sportacus sighed. "We'll talk about this later."

Glanni grinned. "So, pizza time?"

\-----

The girls ran upstairs to Ella's room when dinner came to an end, promising to come back down for movies later. Glanni was passed out on the sofa, and that left Sportacus and Robbie to clean off the dining room table.

"I didn’t know that you lived with your brother, Robbie."

"You don’t know a lot about me," Robbie said simply as he stacked the dirty dishes. "And I do _not_  live with him. _He_  lives with _me._ "

A smile tugged at Sportacus' lips. "Oh, of course."

Robbie nodded. "He moved in after Ella's mother left. She took Ella for a while and I- well, I wasn’t doing well, so Glanni offered to stay with me."

Sportacus could feel his heart warmed by the show of trust. Robbie was right, he really knew nothing about him and he was flattered that Robbie was willing to share about himself.

"That was nice of him."

"Yeah, and now he won't leave."

Sportacus couldn’t help but giggle.

"Well, I keep him around to watch Ella and pick her up from school, but he's out of here the day she's old enough to stay home alone." There was a fond tone to his voice, no matter the harsh way Robbie spoke of his brother.

The man being discussed snorted in his sleep. Robbie rolled his eyes.

"So, I suppose our kids-"

"Yes, we should probably talk to them."

"Are they wrong, though?"

Sportacus blinked. "What do you mean?" he carefully sat down the tall stack of glasses onto the table.

"I mean, obviously lying, manipulating and trying to start a fire - that was bad. But, you know, maybe we could try uh . . ." Robbie cleared his throat. "Dating?"

"Oh, Robbie, I don’t know." Sportacus wanted desperately to say 'YES!', but it still seemed soon after he and Stephanie's mother separated. He wasn’t sure that he wanted to burden someone else with his family problems, and after he had just made a fresh start for he and his daughter by moving to a new town.

"You're right. Sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything." Robbie mumbled. He escaped into the kitchen with the dirty dishes. Sportacus followed him.

"I just mean that-"

"No, really, it's fine." Robbie waved a dismissive hand. "Coffee?"

"No thank you. I don’t drink coffee."

Robbie stared at him like he grew a second head. "Don’t you work at- You know what?" He chuckled. "Never mind."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> would you believe i wrote this entire thing to justify the sickfic in the next chapter? because i did.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's sick and everything's awful.   
> And Glanni is the terrifyingly protective older brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I warned you guys, didn't I?  
> And turns out this is gonna be a three part story instead. Oops.
> 
> mentions of puking ahead, but nothing graphic.

It was two days after Christmas.

The phone's ring blared in his ear and Sportacus woke with a groan. He went to grab it from his nightstand, only to hear that Stephanie had already answered it. He listened to her muffled voice in the living room as he sat up in bed, yawning. Who could possibly be calling at- two in the morning?!

Finally, as Sportacus had expected, Stephanie came into his room to give him the phone. What he didn't expect was the shy voice on the other end of the line. "Hello?"

"Mister Sportacus?"

Sportacus was wide awake now. He glanced at his anxious daughter who didn't have any answers to offer.

"Ella? Is something wrong?"

"Dad's sick and Uncle Glanni isn't home." Her voice faltered a bit.

Sportacus was panicking a little less when he heard Robbie's grumpy protests in the background. At least he was well enough to grumble.

_"Ella, leave the poor man alo-!"_ Robbie cut himself off with a violent coughing fit that made Sportacus wince.

"Don't worry," Sportacus told her, already pulling on socks and shoes. "I'm on my way, alright?"

"O-okay."

\-----

"I told her not to call you," Robbie slurred. He shrunk away as Sportacus laid his palm on Robbie's warm forehead.

"I'm glad she did. You look awful," Sportacus hummed disapprovingly. "And you definitely have a fever."

Robbie grunted in response, before something dawned on him. "Where are the girls?"

"Upstairs, hopefully sleeping." Sportacus had told Stephanie to pack an overnight bag before they left, and he did as well. He also didn’t want either of them hanging around Robbie while he was probably contagious, and instructed both girls to go to bed. Whether they were actually sleeping was a mystery.

He smiled at the sound of giggling came from upstairs. Mystery solved. He wasn’t too worried about it because they would soon crash sooner or later and sleep the rest of the night.

"Her mother is a nurse," Robbie mumbled after a while. He turned his face into the arm of his sofa. "So Ella comes back after summer thinking she knows everything."

Sportacus chuckled. He stood from where he was knelt next to Robbie, pulling up a chair next to his friend. "She had a right to be worried, Robbie. Have you taken your temperature?"

He took Robbie's scoff as a no.

"Have you eaten anything?"

The mere mention of food made Robbie's face screw up in distaste.

"Nothing that's stayed down. That's when she called you."

He frowned. "Oh, Robbie . . ."

"Don't 'oh Robbie' me, Sportintruder. It was just a cold!" He groaned miserably, curling in on himself under the blanket that usually hung decoratively on the back of the sofa.

"This is no cold."

"Tell me about it." He coughed toward the cushions.

"Where's Glanni?"

"Out."

"Out? Out where?" What could he possibly be doing at three in the morning in this town?

"I'm not his keeper. I just accept that my brother has a better social life than me and leave it at that."

Sportacus sighed. Robbie was being absolutely no help. He and Stephanie would have to stay there until Glanni came home because there was no way he was leaving Robbie in this state.

He took the time to grab a blanket from Robbie's bedroom and drape it over the feverish man. Robbie protested weakly, but in the end accepted defeat and shivered a little less underneath the extra blanket.

"You said you've been sick. Do I need to get a bucket?"

Robbie responded with a tired growl. Sportacus took that as a yes and sat one next to the couch just in case, and then sat down while Robbie began to fall asleep. Sportacus was practically asleep in the chair he had claimed when he woke to soft whimpering. Robbie.

Sweat shone above the man's furrowed brow. He was firmly gripping the blankets around himself, shivering helplessly. Sportacus hesitated before brushing Robbie's curls from his forehead and feeling for a fever.

"Robbie, wake up," He said urgently.

His eyes quickly opened as if he were never fully asleep. "I'm trying to- to sleep. Leave me alone."

"Where's your thermometer?"

Robbie was silent for a long time and Sportacus wondered if he had even heard him. "Upstairs bathroom," he answered finally. Sportacus wasted no time running up to grab it.

He passed Ella's room, where both she and Stephanie seemed to have all but passed out in their sleeping bags on the floor. He must have lingered too long, though, because he heard shuffling, and then, "Sportacus?"

He pressed a finger to his lips. "Sh, go back to sleep."

"Dad okay?"

Sportacus wasn't sure what the answer to that question was, but if Ella worried herself all night, she could end up getting sick as well.

"He's fine, Ella." It seemed to be enough for her to lie back down and go to sleep.

\-----

Sportacus stared at the numbers on the thermometer. His blood ran cold.

"Hospital. Now."

Robbie chuckled is if it was the most absurd thing Sportacus had ever said. "No way."

"Robbie, I'm serious." Robbie hadn't kept anything down all night, even water, and he didn’t know what to do besides take him to the ER and hope that they can fix him somehow.

"You're overreacting," He mumbled. "And what about the girls?" Robbie had a good point. They couldn't leave the kids alone and they shouldn't have to be dragged to the emergency room this late.

Sportacus bit his lip.

As if on cue, however, they heard the sound of a key turning in the front door. Glanni walked in with a yawn, stealthily removing his shoes and coat before he caught sight of the two men in the living room.

His eyes looked at Robbie, the bucket next to his head, and the thermometer in Sportacus' hand. He approached them and sat at his brother's feet with an exasperated sigh.

"I thought you said it was just a cold."

"It _was_. Why is everyone bugging me tonight?"

\-----

"Isn't there an urgent care I can take him to?"

Glanni let out a breathy laugh as he fought to get his brother to sit up. "We have a hospital and a chiropractor. That’s it, unless you want to drive to MayhemTown."

So, hospital it was.

Robbie was too stunned to protest when Sportacus scooped him off the sofa and placed him in the car. He was tempted to carry Robbie into the hospital as well, but the man insisted that he 'could walk himself God damn it' and Sportacus was pretty sure he heard the man accusing him of being an 'Overactive Superman' as they walked through the doors.

The small town barely had an emergency room, and even then it was more like a front desk and a few chairs. The wait was a lot shorter than Sportacus was used to in his old city.

When they called his name, Robbie wordlessly laid his hand on Sportacus', looking at him with pleading eyes. That was how Sportacus found out that Robbie was afraid of hospitals. The people at the hospital weren't opposed to Sportacus coming back with Robbie while they checked him out, despite the odd looks the two of them earned.

Robbie rolled his eyes as they barreled questions at him. Had he been out of the country recently?! He hadn't even left town in a year. The grumpy pout on his face as they stuck the thermometer in his mouth reminded Sportacus too much of Stephanie when she was ill and accused him of worrying too much.

The nurse told them the doctor would be in shortly, and she left the room.

Robbie finally had a chance to relax against the bed, closing his eyes with a heavy, congested exhale. Sportacus laid his hand on Robbie's. His skin was warm, and his hand was shaking from more than impending dehydration.

"Really don’t like hospitals," He growled under his breath, as if he knew the question forming in Sportacus' head.

"I'm sorry. I was just worried."

"Are you kidding? I'm sorry my kid made you come over in the middle of the night." Robbie pulled the collar of his shirt over his mouth and coughed, groaning afterwards.

Sportacus hated to think about what shape Robbie would be in if Ella hadn't called him. Apparently, the man had something against taking care of himself.

\-----

It was a long night as Robbie was put on an IV, hydrated, and sent home. He hadn't spent the night in the ER since Stephanie's ear infection a few years ago.

The sun was out by the time they left the hospital. They were both exhausted and Robbie was close to falling asleep on the drive home, head against the window, breath making a foggy patch on the glass.

Sportacus carried him into the house and Robbie allowed it without so much as a grumble. As soon as he was deposited into his bed, he curled up and make himself smaller than Sportacus had ever seen him.

Sportacus sighed, relieved. He took the opportunity to press a gentle kiss to Robbie's warm forehead as a gesture of- well, he wasn’t sure.

He heard Robbie mutter something that sounded suspiciously like "Love you," before he went downstairs.

Guilt rose in his throat.

He couldn’t keep himself from this guy forever. Sportacus almost felt like he was stringing Robbie along when he wasn’t even sure he'd ever be ready to date again. Ugh, that was a thought for another time, another time when he wasn’t exhausted beyond belief.

He yawned and all but plopped onto Robbie's sofa before falling asleep. Maybe he could get a couple hours in before he had to go to work.

It barely felt like two minutes Sportacus woke to someone nudging him awake.

"I'm driving you to work. Come on, Sportasleepy." Glanni pulled on a jacket as Sportacus sat up from the couch. He didn’t feel very rested, in fact he felt more groggy than he had before he fell asleep. "You look awful, by the way. Now you know how I feel, dealing with that guy all the time. My baby brother never learned how not to be a self-destructive oaf," Glanni punctuated his ramble with a dramatic sigh.

Sportacus wondered how he was going to run on two hours of sleep. He also wondered if anyone in this family knew how to pronounce his name correctly.

Normally, he would insist on jogging to work. The sun was out and it did wonders lighting up the beautiful town. But today, he gratefully accepted the offer.

His mind when to Stephanie. School was still out for winter break and he hadn't made any arrangements for her to go somewhere, but Glanni insisted that he'd be home and the kids would probably sleep in late anyway. He decided that if Glanni was willing to double his babysitting duties for the day, he'd let him.

"You aren't working today?" Sportacus asked.

"Naw. I spoke to Robbie this morning and we agreed that it would be more work than it's worth to open up today. I mean, he's definitely not going anywhere, and no one wants ice cream in the middle of winter anyway."

"Oh, Stephanie would." Sportacus chuckled.

There was a knowing smile on Glanni's face. "I have a feeling that your little pink child doesn’t like ice cream as much as you think."

Sportacus tried to ignore that comment for the sake of his pride. _Of course_. Stephanie had shown a lot of enthusiasm when it came to Robbie's ice cream parlor, and only his. She was such a sneak.

\-----

He and Glanni rode in silence for a while before the other man spoke.

"Robbie likes you, you know."

"Yes, I know." Sportacus admitted.

Glanni pulled up in front of Lazy Morning and put a hand on Sport's arm before he had a chance to escape the vehicle. "Listen, I've had to watch him get his heart broken too many times, because frankly, his heart is too big for his own good. Don’t let that happen this time." The tone in his voice wasn’t threatening, but the stabbing look in Glanni's eyes had Sportacus frozen in fear.

Sportacus swallowed.

"I would never break Robbie's heart."

Glanni's eyes studied him. "Good. Well! Have a nice day at work."

He did not.

He could feel his body running ragged as soon as he started to serve the long line of morning coffee drinkers, and Sportacus couldn’t remember that last time he's been this sleep deprived. An awful realization hit him as - further into his shift - his nose became blocked. Oh. Oh no. He hoped that Stephanie wasn’t suffering the same fate.

And it wasn’t long after that when the inevitable happened.

Sportacus sneezed.

And then coughed.

And it kept happening until he found himself hardly able to take a breath without sniffling.

Another hour into his shift and he could feel the fever start to set in.

Suddenly, his usual work uniform wasn’t enough to keep him warm. He shuddered every time someone opened the door and the cold December air rushed past him. He pulled his jacket off of the coat rack and zipped it up to his neck with a teeth-chattering shiver. He was just sticking his hands in the pockets of his apron in a last resort to get warm when he realized that Milford was looking right at him.

"Are you alright, Sportacus?" He asked.

Sportacus swallowed against his sore throat. "Yes! I'm fine. It's just a little cold in here."

His boss raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure? You sound sick!"

Sportacus smiled reassuringly despite his current state. "Really, it's nothing."

Another few uncomfortable seconds went by as Sportacus' boss scrutinized him.

"You should go home," Milford said finally.

"B-but Mr. Meanswell!"

"Please, you look awful."

"No one else is here to fill in! You would have to do everything yourself!"

His argument went nowhere and Sportacus found himself getting sent out the door with a cup of hot tea in his hands. Sportacus shivered, the outside cold hit him like a ton of bricks. The sun had gone down and it left frigid air in its wake.

With a long, raspy sigh, Sportacus set out to Robbie's house to pick up his daughter. Maybe they could stop and pick up some dinner for her on their way home. He really didn’t feel like cooking. Or eating.

It took longer than usual to make it to Robbie's house, and Sportacus couldn’t remember that last time walking had caused him to lose his breath.

Smiling at the sound of a snowball fight taking place in the back yard, he knocked on the door. He coughed into the crook of his elbow and sipped the last of his tea, which had gone cold halfway through his journey.

Glanni opened the door and looked him over. A sigh. "Come in. Sit down. Warm up."

Sportacus had no problem doing so.

Robbie was sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket and looking a lot better than he had the night before. He got one look at Sportacus and frowned sympathetically before patting the spot next to him.

"Come join the club."

Sportacus sat down. "I can't stay for long. I just came to pick up Stephanie and go home."

"Glanni can give you a ride. You look like you're going to pass out. Don’t you _drive_  anywhere?"

Sportacus shrugged. "It's so easy to walk everywhere in such a small town, and it saves on gas, and it's good exer-" He stuttered to a stop as Robbie rolled his eyes.

"The shop close early?" Glanni asked before sticking his head out the back door and calling the girls inside.

"No, Milford sent me home."

"Good." Robbie ran his wrist under his nose with a quick sniffle. "No one wants you sneezing all over their caramel macchiato." He pulled a tissue from the box on his lap and wiped his nose. Sportacus stared in confusion as Robbie nudged him with said box. "Your nose is running," The man informed with a chuckle.

"Oh! Goodness, sorry. I didn’t even realize . . ." He trailed off as he blew his nose. If that wasn’t embarrassing, he didn’t know what was.

"Welcome to how my past couple of days have gone."

The conversation lulled as the TV played nonsense. The two of them were silent until,

"So, you love me, hm?" Sportacus couldn’t stop it before it came out of his mouth. Oops.

Robbie's eyes widened and their gaze shifted to the floor. "You heard that then. I was hoping it was some kind of fever dream." He laughed despite himself. "I-"

Ella and Stephanie wandered in, giggling about their day as they stomped the snow off of their boots. It was a relief to see that the two of them managed to stay healthy, and maybe playing outside had tired Stephanie out enough that he wouldn’t have to worry about dealing with a hyper kid at home.

"Dad, you're back early," Stephanie observed. She cocked her head to one side, and then the other, narrowing her eyes. "Are you okay?"

Sportacus smiled wearily. "I'm not feeling very well."

Her face fell in worry.

"I'm fine! I'd just like to get home and rest."

She quickly understood and ran upstairs to Ella's room to pack her bag. The purple-clad girl ran up with her and together they left a bunch of snowy, wet footprints that Glanni was now doing his best to clean up.

"I did my best to keep them away from the germ incubator," Glanni said, vaguely gesturing toward his brother with a roll of paper towels. He added an extra thought as he finished cleaning the melted snow, "I don’t remember the last time Ella has played outside in the winter."

Robbie made an agreeing noise, smirking in amusement. "She usually says it's too cold to go outside and reads a book instead."

Sportacus couldn’t help but laugh. Definitely Robbie's kid.

"But," Robbie continued with a little cough. "Since she and Stephanie started playing together . . ."

Oh. Warmth spread over his heart. Sportacus had always known that Stephanie had the energy to light up a room, to make people smile, but to hear that his daughter was actively making a difference . . . He couldn’t be prouder.

\-----

"Thank you again, Glanni."

"No problem." The man in the car smiled, offering a "Feel better" before driving off.

He settled Stephanie at the kitchen table with the food Robbie's brother had been kind enough to stop for on their way home.

He didn’t usually approve of feeding children fast food. They needed too many nutrients to grow, nutrients that a cheeseburger and fries couldn’t provide! Tonight, though, he made an exception, and Stephanie seemed to be enjoying her dinner.

She had questioned him when she saw that he hadn't ordered anything for himself, and he lied and told her that he'd already eaten at the coffee shop.

"Are you telling the truth?"

Sportacus frowned.

"No," he admitted with a sigh. He was no good at lying, never had been. And Stephanie was a master interrogator. "I'm not very hungry so I'll eat later, alright?"

"You always say that it's not good to eat before you go to bed," She pointed out. " _Or_ skip a meal, _or_ eat fast food, _or_ -"

"Stephanie, eat your food."

"Okay, _fine._ " She rolled her eyes and took another bite of her burger.

Later that night was when everything went to hell. He was just saying goodnight to Stephanie when his stomach did one big backflip and he was rushing to the bathroom. He didn’t have much to throw up and he came to the painful realization that he hadn't eaten a thing all day.

There was a knock on the door.

"Go back to bed, Stephanie," He rasped. Thankfully, from the sound of hesitant footsteps, she listened to him. He heard her settle back into bed.

His stomach seemed to rebel non-stop for- what? And hour? Two? He wasn’t sure how long it'd been, but he kept dry heaving and pain kept shooting through his stomach. He tried to stand, only to find that he was too dizzy to do so.

Sportacus groaned miserably when he heard his daughter dial a familiar number. She was supposed to be sleeping! He opened his mouth to tell her that whatever she was doing was unnecessary, that he was _fine,_  that Robbie was still sick and didn't need to be bothered, but all that came out was an awful croak.

Her muffle voice from the other side of the bathroom door, worried and shaky, "Robbie? Dad's really sick. I don’t think he's eaten anything!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg sport shut up you're not fine


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glanni is a lot more involved in this chapter and I apologize in advance for his behavior. He's a bound over-stepper. The Rotten family is a bad influence on Sportacus and Steph. And I don’t know how I did this or what I did but I hope y'all enjoy.  
> A big thank you to sarah for helping me with this chapter!

"Look how the tables have turned. Not necessarily in my favor, but they've turned."

The voice snapped Sportacus from his daze. Robbie looked horrible, leaned against the door frame, yawning like he'd just gotten out of bed. He hadn't bothered to change out of his pajamas before hopping into his car and driving over.

"Robbie," Sportacus rasped miserably, shifting his position on the bathroom floor. His entire body ached. Was this how awful Robbie felt the night before? "I am so sorry."

Robbie coughed into a fist and lowered himself down to sit next to Sportacus. Sportacus pulled his knees to his chest and let his head fall forward with an exhausted sigh, only jumping a little when his friend squeezed his shoulder.

"She said you haven't eaten all day. Was she exaggerating or are you just that stupid?" There was still a hoarse edge to Robbie's voice, and he didn’t seem to be ready to deal with this. It made Sportacus feel all the more guilty about the poor guy driving to his home in the first place.

"I wasn’t hungry."

Sportacus knew that he was being the exact kind of person he'd usually scold. Food was important, he knew that, but at the moment Sportacus just couldn’t follow his own advice.

Robbie made a 'tch' noise.

"You don’t need to be here," He muttered, head still buried as he fought back the nausea. "Especially when you're-"

Robbie coughed.

"Exactly. You need to go home and take care of yourself, Robbie. You were just at the hospital!" He looked up at Robbie with fever-bright eyes and the other man frowned. Sportacus caught the light shudder of Robbie's body and realized that the fever hadn't left him either. He really shouldn’t have driven here when he was still so sick, and Sportacus would have scolded him if he wasn’t in such horrible shape himself.

"Only because you and my family are dramatic," Robbie growled. Sportacus rolled his eyes. "And I need to take care of _myself_? Call me old-fashioned, but I think eating is kind of an important part of living. Don’t suppose you'd eat something right now, would you?"

Sportacus' stomach protested at the thought and he hastily shook his head. "Did Stephanie go to bed?"

"Yes," Robbie breathed out. "She's going to sleep as we speak."

"Good. Thank you. I think I was keeping her awake." Since Stephanie had started spending time with Ella at her house, she seemed to have started to really like Robbie, apparently enough to do as he says and go to bed.

Robbie stared at him, raising an eyebrow. "Do you think it's time for you to go to bed too?"

Sportacus' silence seemed to clue him in on the situation. Did Robbie honestly think he hadn't tried getting up? God, he was such a mess. He couldn’t imagine Robbie wanting to be in a relationship with him after this. Not that he spent a lot of time thinking about that.

"Ah. Gotcha."

Robbie stood shakily before taking Sportacus' arm and pulling him up. The two men had more trouble keeping each other up than either of them would ever be willing to admit. Finally, though, Sportacus was settled into bed.

Robbie sat on the edge of the mattress, eyeing him warily. "You're shaking."

"No, I'm not." Was he?

"Yes, you are." He wasn’t in the mood to argue. "Do you feel feverish? Hell, what am I asking? You have the same thing I do, of course you're feverish." He pressed the back of his hand to Sportacus' forehead and dropped it with an exasperated sigh. It was a lost cause, they both knew it.

"It was a bad idea for you to come here, Robbie. You shouldn’t-"

"What was I supposed to do? Let your nine year-old carry you to bed?" Robbie snapped.

"You aren't much stronger than her at the moment," Sportacus answered, only to get an unimpressed glare in return.

"I'm going to pretend like you didn’t just say that." He pushed himself off of the bed and struggled to find his balance as he stood. For an awful moment, Sportacus thought Robbie was going to crumble to the ground. "Goodnight, Sportacus." He said, voice softer. "Get some sleep. You'll need it."

"Robbie! you can't drive home in your condition." He shouldn’t have been there in the first place, driving back only doubled the risk of something bad happening.

"My _condition_?"

"I just- I'm just uncomfortable with a feverish man driving through town. And I refuse to be the reason that something-!"

"Okay, okay, you've made your point. I'll commandeer your couch or something."

The tall man huffed out an irritated breath that seemed to make its way through his congestion. He massaged the bridge of his nose, eyes clamped shut before sitting back down. He was fighting some dizziness of his own.

Sportacus watched with worry. "I really am sorry. I'll have a talk with Stephanie tomorrow about-"

"No. No, your kid was scared enough that she called me." He yawned. "Don’t let my attitude fool you, Sportasick. I wasn’t about to ignore a phone call from a distressed child just so I could get some extra sleep."

The tone in his voice, the admission, brought a smile to Sportacus' face. Because it was an admission that he was right in showing up at Robbie's house in the middle of the night. That Robbie really did need that help, that he really was awful at taking care of himself. Sportacus was feeling pretty smug for a sick guy.

Robbie was right, too. Sportacus didn’t know what he would have done if his daughter hadn't called, just like if Ella hadn't called him the night before. Stephanie had no one else to turn to in situations like these since they didn’t have family nearby, but she seemed to know that she could trust her friend's family.

"Sorry. You just… don’t look well, Robbie."

"Look who's talking!" He countered, thoroughly offended. And there went another yawn.

Sportacus gave him a look of nothing but sympathy and pulled the other corner of his blanket back with a questioning hum. Robbie stared at the spot Sportacus patted, giving a heavy groan.

"Fine, scoot over. I'm too tired to think about the implications of that gesture right now."

\-----

Sportacus was warm. Really warm. When had his bed gotten so hot? It was almost as if someone was-

Oh.

Robbie.

The man was wrapped around his waist, face pressed into the crook of his neck. Sportacus couldn’t move, but he didn’t much care, as Robbie looked more than content snuggled next to him. The man would be embarrassed beyond belief when he woke, but as of right now, he was getting the peaceful sleep that he finally deserved. Especially after being dragged to the hospital one night and then to Sportacus' house the next.

Yes, nothing could ruin this moment.

Except for the loud _clank_ in the kitchen, and the bedroom door being thrown open.

"Dad? it's getting really la-"

Robbie jumped awake, and the two men stared at the small, pink kid standing in the doorway. She took in the sight and a big smile immediately appeared on Stephanie's face. Suddenly, she was rushing off.

"Ella! Guess what! They're awake!"

Both of them groaned in unison.

"What's Ella doing here?" Robbie mumbled, rubbing his eyes. He lifted his head and realized where he was, who he was cuddling with. He gasped and sat up, scooting away from Sportacus like he was poisonous or something.

Sportacus chuckled, despite feeling only slightly better than he had last night. It was relieving to see Robbie back to himself.

"I think we've been caught."

"Ugh. Glanni's not going to let me hear the end of this." Robbie swung his long legs over the edge of the bed, sighing, and then letting out a breathy chuckle at the sound of the excited girls hopping around.

Sportacus giggled. "We'd better go see what we're missing!"

"I'd rather not."

"Come on, Robbie! I smell food. I'm hungry." He was already getting out of bed, despite feeling unsteady, he was determined. Sportacus was relieved to have his appetite back. There was a wonderful pancake-y aroma in the air and he didn’t know where it was coming from but he wanted to find out.

"Well I hope to God that our nine year-olds aren't cooking."

Both men dragged themselves out of bed and took in the sight before them. Ella and Stephanie were entertaining themselves in the living room while Glanni had taken over the connected kitchen.

The pancakes Glanni was so focused on looked horribly unhealthy, but Sportacus was so hungry that - for the first time - he didn’t care.

"Look who decided to grace us with their presence!" The older Rotten exclaimed. "I hear that you two were all cozy." He slid some pancakes and eggs onto a plate and passed it to Sportacus, and then one to Robbie. "Both of you look like sh-" A glance toward the kids "Crap. You guys look like crap."

Sportacus nodded admittedly, but Robbie scoffed.

"You should have seen him last night. I thought I was going to have to make a second hospital trip this week."

Sportacus hadn't thought about how miserable and pathetic he was when Robbie showed up. He didn’t mean to worry anyone, he just wanted to… not worry anyone.

He sat at the island and took a hesitant bite. His eyes closed, and Sportacus' stomach growled with happiness. Disgusting, sugary, chocolatey goodness melted in his mouth.

"I didn’t know that I owned chocolate chips," Sportacus said, fully enjoying his bite.

"You didn’t. I brought everything from home. Robbie left me a note last night explaining the situation and I figured that you and Stephanie could use some breakfast."

Robbie dragged a tired hand down his face. "I apologize profusely for my brother invading your home."

Sportacus chuckled. Honestly, he admired Glanni's willingness to help. "All of you are welcome here any time."

"Aw! Thank you!" The man said, putting a hand over his heart.

Robbie groaned and rolled his eyes as he ate his pancakes.

"Anyway, the girls and I were talking this morning, and we were thinking…"

"On no."

"Robbie, have some faith in us! We were thinking that it would be fun for the five of us to-"

"Glanni."

" _Sh!_  The five of us to get all dressed up and go out to eat sometime!"

Sportacus blinked. The girls were staring at their dads with eagerness and Sportacus wondered how deeply Glanni had discussed this with them before they woke. The two of them _would_  have a lot of fun dressing up and going to a real restaurant. It had been a while since he himself had been to an actual restaurant, and he definitely hadn't been to one in town.

Sportacus and Robbie exchanged looks.

"It could be fun," Sportacus said to his friend with a shrug.

Robbie turned to his daughter, raising an eyebrow. "Ella, do you really want to do this?"

"Yesss!"

It was Robbie's turn to blink in confusion. "What? Really?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"Since when do you want to go out and do stuff? With people?"

"Um… I don't know? It would be fun."

Glanni smirked and Sportacus caught the secretive nod he gave the kids. Hm. Interesting.

"Okay, fine." Robbie squeezed Ella's shoulder, smiling despite obviously being tired and against doing whatever these guys were planning. "When we're all feeling well again, we can go out. If Sportacus is okay with it."

Sportacus ignored the pleading look Robbie was giving him, a look that begged him not to give into his brother's shenanigans. But his daughter's pleading eyes were far more effective.

"Of course it's fine with me!"

Glanni was satisfied. "Good, because I made reservations for next week."

\-----

"Oh, hey, Robbie! Over here!" Sportacus waved excitedly when he spotted Robbie. He had been standing outside the restaurant for longer than he was willing to admit, having been nervous about whatever this was. It was a pretty fancy restaurant for LazyTown, the type of fancy that drew in people from surrounding towns.

As Robbie approached him, Sportacus realized one thing:

He was in over his head.

Robbie wore a well-fitted suit with a purple dress shirt underneath, his hair styled differently than usual. Heat rushed to his cheeks. Robbie looked amazing and it wasn’t fair.

"Glanni here yet?"

Sportacus shook his head. "No. Have you seen them?"

"Not since they kicked me out of the house earlier. They said that they needed to get ready."

The girls had begged to come with Glanni so they could stay and get their makeup done. Sportacus wasn’t sure about it at first, but he figured that one time couldn’t hurt. Both kids were more excited than he's ever seen them, and Stephanie had even picked out one of her favorite dresses to wear. She had made a point to show it to him, just to make sure he knew how excited she was.

"I really hope they're not too much for him," Sportacus said, knowing that the two children could become a handful sometimes when they were together

"Are you kidding? He's basically a kid. He'll be fine."

Robbie's brother spent a lot of time watching the girls the week before when both their dads were sick. Both Sportacus and Stephanie were quickly becoming close with the family, and it was warming to have someone he trusted with Stephanie living so close.

It was getting close to the reservation time so they decided to go in and see if their table was ready. The host led them to a table with only two chairs. That wasn’t right…

"Oh _no._ " Robbie groaned.

"What is this?" Sportacus asked the host, who explained that the reservation was definitely only for two people.

They sat down, and Robbie gave the loudest, most dramatic sigh Sportacus had ever heard in his life.

"Robbie?"

"They're still trying to get us together."

"What?" Sportacus laughed. "Don’t you think they have learned their lesson after Christmas?" Also known as the day that both girls received strong lectures about lying and involving themselves in other people's lives.

"I'm sure that Glanni didn’t."

"No," He chuckled, shaking his head. "No, no. This is obviously just a mistake! They wouldn’t-"

He was interrupted by Robbie pulling out his phone. The tall man huffed as he dialed a number and with a growling "Glanni…" the lively sibling bickering began.

Sportacus wasn’t sure exactly how the phone call went on Glanni's side, but from where he sat, he could hear an awful lot of threats being made. He could guess that Glanni was saying the same smug things he always said while trying to get a rise out of his brother.

"Alright," Robbie said as he hung up on his brother. "Obviously, this was a mistake, so we should just… why are you looking at me like that?"

Sportacus realized he was smiling. Why? Because his and Robbie's little scheming families had finally, successfully gotten them on a date.

"Let's stay."

He swore he could see the man across him blush furiously, eyes wide. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I- I mean, we could humor them! Maybe then they would stop… this," Sportacus reasoned.

And they did stay. It was more fun than Sportacus had had in a long time. They chatted about nothing, trying each other's food and making awful jokes about how they were going to get back at Glanni for encouraging their children. Sportacus was happy, and he hoped Robbie was too.

Finally, the inevitable conversation came. Well, more forced onto unsuspecting parties.

"I think we're good for each other, Robbie." Sportacus kept his eyes on his plate so he didn’t have to see the look on Robbie's face. He wasn’t expecting the answer he got.

"Yeah," Robbie breathed out. "I think you're right.

It was a wonderful night. They stayed until the restaurant closed, and Robbie suggested that they head to the ice cream parlor.

"Robbie, I don’t eat-"

"Really? Because I saw you munching on those chocolate chip pancakes pretty-"

"Hey, I hadn't eaten!"

"Okay fine, I'll have ice cream, you have fruit or something. I need sugary crap."

Sportacus shook his head fondly, and it wasn’t long before the shop was within sight. He climbed out of Robbie's car and the two of them exchanged looks.

"Why are the lights on?"

"I… don’t know. Let's go see."

They found Glanni and the girls, each with an obscene amount of frozen sugary crap in front of them.

Deer caught in headlights.

"Hey, how'd your date go?" Glanni asked finally. The girls lowered their ice cream spoons and gave their fathers absolutely innocent smiles. None of them were dressed up. None of them had any intention of going out to eat. None of them had any intention of doing anything tonight besides eating ice cream and tricking people.

Sportacus and Robbie had learned that night that their fourth-graders were smarter than both of them.

"You are all in very big trouble."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I'm done with this universe quite yet. there's so many more opportunities here.


End file.
